Closer
by RuskaSky
Summary: Even years after Zidane's return from the Iifa Tree, Garnet can not let go off her feeling of remorse and the fright of losing him. Her guilt manifests in a nightmare, haunting her over and over again. - A oneshot for Kairiangle035
1. Nightmares

When I woke up, I realized that I was no longer in our bed in Alexandria. I laid on the ground, deep in the pure white snow. My body hurt of coldness when I stood up and tapped on my clothes, but it was useless: The snow was all over my body, in my clothes, my hair, my shoes. Even my heart seemed to be full of cold snow.

I looped my arms around my chest and took a look around.

I was in a big, foreign town. It sure was nice a long time ago with all those cute little houses but now, they were all ruins. The atmosphere felt cold, not just the air and the falling snow, but the town itself, too. So lost, so lonely, so... forgotten.

The shimmering glow of the moon made all seem so fake, like a ghost town … and I was the only citizen.

Wind came up and brought more and heavier snow. I shivered and made a few steps forwards but the snow was like a barrier, too hard to walk through but I kept trying nonetheless. I was searching for something, something dear to me and I wished I could remember what it was.

While walking through the crackling cold snow, my feet became numb and the only thing that kept me walking was my will. It was so strong, so desperate that it ignored my hurting body.

I knew this condition, it was like the other day, when the bestia got extracted from my body: numb, painless but without any hope. I felt no different: There wasn't a chance to find him, to save him. But as long as I didn't thought about it, my will kept me walking.

I looked up. I still was far away from the houses but that wasn't the reason for me standing still. No, it was something different: I've heard a jingle. Very quiet, like it was far away but yet so terrifying that I couldn't move any longer.

I turned around, trying to see from which direction the jingle came, when I suddenly saw a person.

It's body was all black, like a shadow of a forgotten dream, but the outlines reminded me on someone.

When the person stopped moving forwards, I raised my voice:  
"Who are you?"

The person chuckled, but it was a low, evil chuckle.

"You don't remember me? That's too bad, princess. But don't worry: I remember you well."

I wanted to take a step forwards but realized astonished that I couldn't. There was no fear yet but I knew it would come soon.

The shadow-like person pointed on the ruins.

"Can you see that, princess? Don't you recognized it?"

I slowly shook my head.

"No, I've never been here before."

The person gently shook his head, like I did.  
"You're sure? Well, you _were _here, as far as I knew. To be honest, both of us were here, some time ago. You still don't remember?"

I shook my head once more, while I felt the upcoming fear.

"No...", I whispered scared.

The shadow-like person sighed.

"Well, that's too bad, princess. May I give you a little tip?"

The voice acted so nice and friendly but no more: It was just acting and I knew that something terrible was going to happen.

"Please...", I whispered but the person came closer and while doing so, it got clearer, so I got aware of a tail behind his back.

The person laid one arm around my shoulders and it was cold like ice. Now, I could even see facial features.

The man was smiling.

"Take a look once more, sweet princess."

Though I didn't wanted to, I followed his words – and I had difficulties in forbearing a scream.

All the ruins had begun to burn, while the snow hadn't stopped falling. Everything was red and golden and suddenly, some of the flames were so near to me that I could have touched them.

I winced and stared to the shadow-like person, which was more like a person than a shadow now: The colors came back to the black and grey body, blond hair and blue eyes became visible.

The man smiled at me and if he hadn't terrified me a few moments before, I would have trust him with my life.

I made a few steps backwards.

"Who are you?", I asked again but louder now. "What have you done to this city?"

The man shook his head.

"I've done nothing, princess. This", and he pointed at the burning houses (and I swear I heard some screams from further away) ,"this was all your work, sweetie."

I felt how my body began to shiver, not because of coldness but of fear.

"You're... You're telling me lies!", I screamed, but he laughed.

"Why should I lie to you? You already know, that it's all _your_ fault, don't you?" While telling me that, he came closer and the smile on his face (so familiar, so beautiful) was gone.

"Tell me, Dagger, why should I lie to you when _you _are the one who has betrayed me?"

I shook my head while tears fell from my eyes.

"I didn't betrayed you, I begged you to stay with me! I tried my very best and-"

"If you'd tried your very best I wouldn't have died, Dagger!", he interrupted me and I winced, like he had hit me.

"Please", I whispered and tumbled towards him, "I tried everything. I believed in you because _I love you_!" I wanted to grab his hand, but he turned away.

"Nice love", he answered snorting. "But I don't care anymore, Garnet. Look around. You've lost _everything._ Your real mother and father, your false parents, your kingdom and now me."

He turned around and the smile on his face was brutally now.

"Poor poor Garnet. All alone, forgotten by everyone."

Then, he started to laugh, so loud and evil that the ground began to tremble, like an earthquake.

Slowly, the ground began to divide and a big slot appeared that grew bigger and bigger within seconds.

I screamed and ran towards him, trying to reach his hand, but he jumped down the slot, still laughing and I fell with him.

Screaming his name, I felt like going through hell. I saw our whole time we spent together crossing my mind, the good times and the bad times and the tears didn't stopped falling.

In the absolute darkness, a bright light appeared, flowing right to me. First, I wasn't sure to reach out for it or not but then I saw it was a dagger.

With all my strength. I managed to grab the danger and I hold it close to my chest while I repeated one sentence again and again.

_I love you. I love you. I love you. I love..._

I woke up by Zidane's snorring. It took me a while to realize that everything has been a dream and when I did so, I burst into tears.

This dream haunted me since Zidane had left at the Iifa Tree. Though it'd been a year since he came back, I still dreamed this dream at least once a week. And even though I knew that he won't leave me again, I couldn't let lose of the thought that everything had been my fault and I was still afraid of losing him again.

While I cried, Zidane awoke. He looked at me for a few seconds then embraced me. He didnn't ask any questions any longer, he realized that I was kept in my thoughts of self-doubt.

But tonight, something was different.

After hugging me some time, he looked into my eyes.

"Garnet", he said in a very calm voice, "it's not your fault. It's never been your fault. You believed in me, the same way as I would have believed in you. And I do not blame you, for nothing. I love you, more than anything else in my life."

First, I didn't knew what to say but Zidane caressed my cheek lovingly and smiled.

"It's alright", he said once more. "I love you."

Then, I finally burst into tears.

I think, I cried all night long and Zidane kept hugging and calming me.

We never talked about our conversation of that night again and for that, I never got one of those terrible nightmares again. It was like everything was finally at the right place.


	2. Dear Kairi

Dear Kairi,

I'm sorry I couldn't edit a video for you and to give you a present at least, I imagined this fanfiction. I first got a longer idea but that would've taken a few months to finish and then, yesterday evening, this idea popped into my mind. It's a very sad story actually but also a metaphor for trusting each other and for becoming stronger after some time. =)  
You're a great friend and a better one than some of my friends here in Germany actually since I can always talk to you and know that you won't laugh at me if I say something stupid ^_^

Talking to you is always fun and I'm glad to be a friend of yours.

And, last but not least...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

*huggles*

Alina


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